North of 50° - Where in the World is the Editor Now?

Willemstad, Curacao, 12°7′N

2010-10-10T08:02:00.000-07:00

Oranjestad, Aruba 12.519°N

2010-10-10T07:49:00.000-07:00

Our first clue should have been the empty pier. Though our ship loomed high along the dock, no pedestrians milled about. The ship's decks were full of passengers waving to Dean and I, the only two people sauntering to the ship. I glanced at my watch. Five minutes to four o'clock. We had time. The ship wasn't leaving until 4:30.
Ahead, sailors were waiting to cast off the lines, while others were already pulling up the ramp that lead to the gangway. Holy crap. I glanced at my watch again. Was it running slow? Dean was lagging behind, walking tenderly on a blistered toe.
Then I saw the ship's officer, leaning out a window, flailing his arm with some urgency, signalling us to 'get a move on.'
As soon as we stepped onto the gangplank, the last knot was untied and the captain announced that the last stragglers had finally graced the ship with their presence and we were leaving immediately. In the time it took the elevator to drop us off on the Lido deck to join the other passengers, the ship's thrusters already had us off the dock and on our way.
Turns out, a weather system was heading in our direction and the captain wanted to get in front of it, so he wasted no time leaving the harbour once all passengers were aboard.

The Panama Canal - The Big Ditch

2010-10-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

Early morning, nearing the canal, Panama City skyline in background

Early morning haze in Panama

A tight squeeze - the view from our stateroom window.

Puerto Caldera, Costa Rica 9° 54' 48" N

2010-10-07T19:00:00.000-07:00

Since I last wrote, we've been zip-lining in Costa Rica, transited the Panama Canal, toured the Island of Curacao, and swam in Aruba. With the Internet issues, I'm not able to upload regularly to the blog – my apologies – but here's some photos!

At the port terminal in Costa Rica

Equipment for zip-line adventure

Suiting up. We booked our zip-line privately with a Kiwi couple we met on ship, Katehrine and Mark. Those who booked through the ship had upwards of 50 people on the same tour. Our small group of four made for fantastic personlized service

latest fashion trends in Costa Rica

A sloth high in the canopy

American crocodile on the Targoles River in Costa Rica. We stopped at a bridge where the crocodiels have learned tourists will throw food over.

At a roadside vendor

Selling cashews in tubes. 3 tubes for $2 US

Church in Puntarenas

Down and out in Puntarenas. Poverty is rampant.

Puerto Quetzal, Guatemala 13°55'14”

2010-10-03T11:52:00.000-07:00

Because of the poor connection to the internet on the ship, I am giving you the low-down in shorthand, keeping my fingers crossed that we will be able to upload.

Strong winds, heavy rain made landing at Puerto Quetzal a challenge. With some skillful manoeuvring and a lucky break in the weather, we were able to dock. Leaving port proved a bit more difficult, but winds died down enough to make a run for it.

Travelled with 10 other ship's passengers in a privately rented van (with driver and tour guide).
Ride to Antigua, a UNESCO world heritage site about 1 hour 30 minutes, narrow passage in some spots because crews were still clearing away debris from week-old mud slides.
Pouring rain, but kept dry under my trusty $1.99 Canadian Tire poncho
Touristy spots – textiles factory, jade factory, monastery converted to five star hotel, town square.
High speed Internet in Antigua cost $1.00 US for half an hour, a stark contrast to the $12.00 for the same amount of “slow-speed” time on the ship.
Lunch at restaurant in Antigua with genuine Guatemalan cuisine cost $23 for 2.
City of Antigua – cobblestone streets, many buildings in the process of restoration. I would definitely come back again.

Sea Day – Dinner with Gwen and Jim

2010-10-03T11:50:00.000-07:00

I've lost count of the days now, but the mat in the elevator tells me it is Tuesday.

Gruelling competition in Women's Olympics continues to wear me down. I remain in the bottom 25 percentile and I am concerned that my poor performance is dragging down the Canadian average.

Unfortunately, I am equally embarrassed by our shameful showing in the progressive trivia contest today. I blame it on the humidity, which is sucking the life out of my brain cells.

I hold out some hope for redemption with the shipbuilding contest. We have managed to collect various recyclables for our project. Clandestine meetings with other team members scheduled for later this week.

It's formal night, so we dressed to the nines. Caralyn, a co-worker, lent me a gorgeous chocolate brown cocktail dress to wear. Dean and I had a wonderful dinner with Gwen and Jim Holt of Vernon. Gwen has been following the blog.

We've discovered that there are plenty of folks from the Thompson Okanagan aboard and even a couple from Armstrong, though we haven't determined who they are yet.

Acapulco

2010-09-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

Day 8 – Brains over Brawn

2010-09-26T22:33:00.000-07:00

I'm not the athletic sort. I proved that once again today during the 2^nd Women's Olympic Event. The Olympic competition happens on sea days. I disgraced myself by earning one of the lowest scores in the bean bag toss. This time, however, I did not advertise my citizenship by wearing my Canada T-shirt. I am pleased to report that the two women currently leading the competition are Canadian.

Our North of 50 Trivia team is less embarrassing. We're in the top ten percent and have a fighting chance of placing in this event.

As for the ship building competition, we haven't seen any of our team members since we signed up, but I will hunt them down on our next sea day.

The live show tonight's was outstanding. An entertainer by the name of Tony Pace earned the first standing ovation of the cruise. He's a vocalist, impressionist and comedian wrapped into one. If you're heading to Vegas in the near future, you might be able to catch his performance at the Tropicana – and that would be a show well worth seeing.

The TV in my stateroom tells me that is is almost 11 pm, ship's time. We are at latitude 17° 51'N, 2626.7 nautical miles from Vancouver and 4073 nautical miles from Tampa. It is 27.9 degrees Celsius outside with a relative humidity of 93 percent. We are experiencing small waves of 4.9 feet. At least, that is what the TV says. I think that's just enough wave action to lull me to sleep, while Dean plays Texas Hold 'Em in the casino.

Tomorrow, Acapulco!

Cabo San Lucas 22.88°N – That ship has already sailed!

2010-09-26T10:40:00.000-07:00

It was a scorcher today! I couldn't tell you what the temperature was, but “hot as hell” is an understatement.

We arrived at Cabo San Lucas at noon, the only cruise ship in the harbour, but certainly not the only ship. The ship, pictured below, is named “A.” It's 388 feet long and is owned by a Russian billionaire. Every one was talking about it, inlcuding our captain who gave us the low down at dinner time.

A Ship Called "A"

What an incredible day. As we walked down the harbour, snorkel gear on our backs, dozens of vendors offered us transportation on sailboats, glass bottom boats, fishing boats and pirate ships, to various snorkeling sites.

Having been to Los Cabos several times, we had a particular snorkeling spot in mind – Santa Maria beach, half way between Cabo San Lucas and San Jose. We wanted to take a catamaran, but they'd all left the harbour. So when a vendor tried to convince us to hop aboard his boat, we pointed to the Cabos Blue, a catamarran on its way to Santa Maria, already about 100 yards off the dock. “We want that boat.”

No problem. He waved us onto his boat, and drove us out to the catamaran. Better late than never.

All the catamarrans we passed were chock full of people; ours had only eight couples aboard, which meant lots of walking around room. Lively latin music played put everyone in the mood for beer and margaritas, which were included in the $45 per person cost. So was lunch. We motor sailed close to the incredible arches at Lover's Beach (El Arco de Cabo San Lucas) and a sea lion colony.

After a glorious 45 minute motor sail, we arrived at our destination, a lovely sandy cove, with very few people onthe breach, but dozens floating on life jackets, faces down in the water.

At home, when I can scrounge up the courage to go in the lake, my body tenses as I edge my way, squealing and making a scene, into the cool water. There is no need to test the temperature of the water here. I jumped in with nary a msucle contraction. .

The snorkeling was good, though we didn't see the variety of fish we've seen previously at Lover's Beach or other Cabo spots.

What a wonderful afternoon. We were back at the harbour by 3:30 pm. After a quick walk-about, we headed back to the ship. The humidity had us dripping with perspiration and in desperate need of showers. A nice touch, Holland America staff handed out steamed hand towels as we boarded the tenders to go back to the Ryndam.

A quick shower, dinner and a show. Tonight's show was a fantastic comedian / magician.

Trivia: At Cabo San Lucas, passengers are tendered ashore. The ship disembarked about 1000 passengers in an hour and a half. That's what I call smooth sailing!

Day 6 - Olympic Trials and Trivial Pursuits

2010-09-24T20:51:00.001-07:00

Today, I joined a group of women Olympic hopefuls aboard Holland America's Ryndam. Eight or nine of us gathered in the basketball court for our first Olympic competition. I donned my Canada T-shirt, hoping to do my country proud. Basketball may have been invented in Canada, but I a sorry to report I was a disappointment, sinking only two baskets out of a possible eight. On each “sea” day, another Olympic event will be held, and the highest cumulative score will win the Gold medal. I am hoping future events will require less skill.

I also entered a ship building contest, roping a couple of unsuspecting gentleman onto my team. Teams are required to construct a ship out of various recyclable materials found on the ship – like casino buckets, water bottles and chop sticks. Sea trials will take place the day before we dock in Tampa. It's a bit like Okanagan College's spaghetti bridge building contest. The winner will be selected based on floatability and creativity.

Finally, this afternoon Dean and I played Trivia, which is played on each “sea day.” The team with the cumulative high score will be crowned the Trivia masters at the end of the cruise. Naturally, we named our team “North of 50.” We scored a respectable 11 out of 15.

Talk about a small world. What a boost to my ego when a man in the trivia crowd recognized the name of the magazine and said his wife was following this travel blog.

Day 5 - San Diego 32°42′54″N

2010-09-24T20:26:00.000-07:00

Uploading to the blog has proved to be a challenge from the cruise ship, where the internet is accessed through a satellite. If a picture paints a thousand words, here's 10,000 words!

Working on the pool. There is another one!

I'm working, people!

After three full days at sea, we docked in San Diego on September 23^rd. There's no shortage of tourist attractions in San Diego and on previous visits to this city, Dean and I have enjoyed pretty much all of them so on this trip we hopped city bus number 901 to Coronado.

The Hotel del Coronado is a state historic site. The grounds are outstanding with herb and flower gardens and a walkway along the beach.

We took the ferry back to the cruise ship harbour. It's only a ten minute transit, and it offers up some great views of the city skyline, Seaport Village and the Coronado bridge.

Trivia: Every Okanaganite remembers the fires of 2003. Did you knbow that in October 2003, wildfires in San Diego burned 280,000 acres (1,100 km), killed 15 people, and destroyed more than 2,200 homes?

Day 3 at Sea - Don't you lecture me, mister!

2010-09-23T16:44:00.000-07:00

The ship provides information on ports of call and other topics of interest, in the library and in the showroom which occasionally transforms into a lecture hall. Today, I took a seat in the showroom where an American professor was giving a lecture titled, “Canada, Our Sister to the North.” The promotional literature for the lecture said “Canada is the most similar country to the US in the Western Hemisphere and its closest neighbor, yet many people do not know very much about this important country.”

Had the audience been mostly American (who are the majority of passengers on this Panama Cruise) this might have been a very informative lecture, but the majority of passengers who chose to attend this lecture on Canada, were Canadians.

The professor told the crowd that Americans don't know much about Canada, even though we are their largest trading partner and share a long border. Canadian and American governments, he said, have a good relationship and disputes are settled through amicable means. He pointed out that Canada and the US don't go to war over trade issues. We settle them in courts or through diplomatic means and that is obviously preferred method.

Perhaps this lecturer over-simplified the process when he explained that when a dispute arises, the US Secretary of State phones up the Canadian Foreign Minister; they have a little chat and work it out in everybody's best interest. Still, I got his point.

I suspect most of the audience disagreed with the professor's claim that the Canadian electoral system is far superior to the US method, mainly because “Canadian politicians do not promise the moon just to get elected.” Canadians trust their elected officials, he claimed, because Canadian politicians actually do what they say they are going to do on the campaign trail.

But things started to go awry when he reported that Canada had 9 provinces and 3 territories, the Canadian dollar is worth about 65 cents US and we have a population of 44 million. Canadians are heavy smokers and drinkers, too. (He was not joking)

Needless to say, some Canadians took issue during the question and answer period, pointing out to the speaker the error of his ways. Any notions he may have had about polite Canadians went out the window. A Brit in the audience was offended that the lecturer said Canada was the US's biggest ally in the fight against terrorism, when that title so clearly belonged to Great Britain.

Perhaps the professor got his information from an out-dated internet site. I could have been offended, but in fairness, I probably don't know as much as I think I do about the United States. I feel confident I could list all fifty states, but I doubt I could place all of them correctly on a map.

Ironically, what the professor inadvertently managed to do was prove his own point – that we really do not know much about each other.

Day 2 - Where in the World are the Wallys?

2010-09-20T16:14:00.000-07:00

We're out to sea, Billy!

The Ryndam's Captain Mark Rowden has just announced over the PA that we have travelled 305 nautical miles at an average average speed of 16 knots and are currently about 60 nautical miles off the coast of Oregon.

Our stateroom has a wonderful, large window, so we've always got a great view, even if we can't step directly outside. Our queen bed is like sleeping on air, a vast improvement from the living room floor we'd been sleeping on for the three nights before the cruise.

Thus, we slept in this morning and didn't make it to the Tai Chi class. As a replacement exercise, we decided to try some dance lessons at mid-morning. How hard can it be to learn the waltz?

Possibly, skipping off to use the facilities during those crucial first few minutes of the lesson was a mistake. That's when they teach the basic steps, which I missed, and I was incapable of making a smooth move for the rest of the lesson.

Dean and I haven't danced since our wedding, and today, it showed. After an embarrassing attempt to follow the instructors steps, some kindly folks had pity on us, and offered up some private lessons. But it was too late. Our confidence was in shambles. We failed miserably at the waltz.

However, at 2 o'clock, the Cha Cha Cha is being taught in the Crow's Nest Lounge! A gentleman named Don, from Campbell River, saw that I was a slow learner, and gave me a 20 minute private lesson, a futile attempt to give me a step up when I return at 2 pm to wow the crowd.

Perhaps, I've set my expectations, too high. I will be happy if I don't step on anyone's toes.

Cha Cha Cha

O Days to Embarkation – Vancouver 49°11'N

2010-09-20T00:07:00.000-07:00

There is so much to accomplish, to figure out, and to enjoy the first day on a cruise ship that I cannot possibly fit it all in this short editorial. So I shall condense.

Whooo hooo … we're on our way. Bon Voyage! Quick, easy boarding at Canada Place. And straight to the Lido Restaurant.

That was about 2 o'clock and we weren't sure if it was a late lunch or an early dinner. After a light meal, we set out to get our bearings. Up six flights of stairs, down four flights , to the bow, the stern, through the casino, into the library, over the hill and dale.

Not surprisingly, by 5 o'clock, when the Welcome Aboard BBQ fired up on the Lido Poolside, I was feeling peckish again. I had just a wee sampling of each dish. The trouble is that there are a lot of dishes. But I resisted the urge to pile up my plate, which explains why by 7 o'clock I was hungry – again.

At dinner in the Rotterdam Dining Room, we were seated with Nancy and Carl, a couple from Kamloops (small world) and their friend Maureen from Ladner. They had never heard of North of 50°. Oooooh, that stings, but not to worry – we told them all about it.

Between meals, we continued to get our bearings, exploring the ship. We were on a mission. Where's the entertainment? Where's the food? How do we get outside?

All these questions and more we hadn't considered yet were answered at the opening night show, aptly called “Nothin's Gonna Stop Us Now,” where cruise director Drew introduced the entertainment staff to a packed house.

I'd like to elaborate on the show which was hilarious, but it is midnight and time to go to bed. Have to be up early for tai chi.

5 Days Before Embarkation - Packed and Ready, Freddy.

2010-09-14T17:04:00.001-07:00

Packing didn't take nearly as long as I expected. That's probably because of the list I've been adding to, crossing off and reconsidering for the past month or more. When my suitcase was about ¾ full, I lifted it onto my fancy schmancy digital bathroom scale. It weighed in at a paltry 32 pounds, well within the 50 pound limit dictated by American Airlines.

A while back, I booked our flights home. I thought I got a great deal! Reality set in when I printed off some travel documents and read the fine print. We can fly home cheap as long as we leave our luggage behind. Luggage fare is $25 for the first bag and $35 for each subsequent bag.

To keep costs down, I suggested Dean take just one change of clothes; he tends to over pack. But NO, he refuses to co-operate. Luckily, we borrowed that large suitcase from my parents so I can take all my princess accessories. I just hope Dean doesn't notice that his khaki Dockers have relocated themselves out of the suitcase and back into his closet. I need the room for my gorgeous white cotton dress I bought in Manzanillo on my last cruise.

I thought it prudent to weigh our bags again once everything was packed. After I added a few bits and pieces, my suitcase weighs 49.2 pounds, still within American Airlines restrictions.

Small problemo. Dean's suitcase weighs in at a whopping 39 pounds, which leaves only 11 pounds for extras, like duty free alcohol.

I'm thinking … Dean's suit jacket and dress shoes must weigh close to five pounds - and does he really need them?

6 Days Before Embarkation - Better Late than Never

2010-09-13T22:37:00.000-07:00

Today, I soaked up some rays in the fake and bake. It was a spur of the moment thing. I suddenly remembered I had tanning minutes left over from last January, when I was toasting myself for a cruise to Acapulco, so I drove my fish belly white body straight down to the tanning salon.

I want enough colour so I don't have to wear nylons; just enough colour so there is some contrast between my white T-shirts and my skin.

Of course, I've left the tanning thing too late.

I've left a lot of things too late.

Like packing. We may not be getting on the ship for 6 days, but we're leaving home in 3,so it's time to quit planning and start doing. Tomorrow, for sure.

I've been making lists for months, which reminds me … I better add self-tanner to my list.

Packing feels too much like work, so I have been looking after other “important” last minute stuff, like changing my Facebook profile picture. I wanted it to reflect a “cruise” theme. It's from last year's cruise to Alaska. Just getting myself in the right frame of mind.

7 Days Before Embarkation - Working for the Weekend

2010-09-12T15:33:00.000-07:00

These weekend work bees are getting to be a bit tedious.

It's a never ending cycle of clean / sort and clip.
Clean / sort office. Clean / sort house. Clean / sort goat pen.

Trim goat hooves. Clip dog claws. Paint my toe nails.

But this is the last work weekend for a while! In just one week we will be aboard ms Ryndam, sipping champagne and waving bye-bye at Canada Place.

We're heading to Vancouver a few days early on business. We are staying at my BFF's one bedroom apartment - on an air bed on the living room.

I only mention this sleeping arrangement to dispel rumours that may be circulating which suggest yours truly is a princess. I can rough it if I have to. I simply prefer not to. Some of you will be pleased to know I have to do some work on the ship.

I'm not swabbing the deck or doing dishes, but I still have to write my October editorial for North of 50° Magazine. The fact that I will be doing it in the lap of luxury doesn't make it any less work – honest.

8 Days Before Embarkation – Mending Fences

2010-09-11T20:01:00.000-07:00

I was awakened this morning by the knock-knock-knock of a diesel engine at the top of the driveway. Oh, what a glorious sound.

That, my friend, is the sound of progress. It's a ship moving forward to ports-of-call far into the distance.

Or, in this case, it was Steve, the fencer, firing up the back hoe to prepare the land for fence posts. By the time we return home from vacation, the new 2 acre pasture will almost be complete.

While Steve cleared brush, Dean and I cleared paper. We went to the office today to finish rearranging desks and files, as well as tossing (shredding) 10 year old bank statements and other documents that had been taking up much needed storage space.

We returned home just in time to say good-bye to Steve who was going home for supper.

“Met your neighbour, today,” he drawled.

Our neighbour has complained – understandably - about our new dog's incessant barking when we aren't home.

“Not that neighbour,” Steve said.

“Another neighbour complained about the dog?” I was aghast. If this carried on, we'd be run off the acreage.

“Nope,” he said. “You know how we said your lot seems bigger than 5 acres? Well, that's because this here ain't your property.”

Oops. Seems we had the peg at the top of the lot figured correctly, but we were about 30 feet out on the bottom, helping ourselves to a healthy swath of the neighbour's land. Thankfully, we learned this before Steve actually started pounding posts down the hill, else we might be trying to mend fences instead of building them.

9 Days Before Embarkation - The Truth Will Set Me Free

2010-09-10T21:29:00.000-07:00

Today I spent two and a half hours in the salon chair, getting cut, foiled and waxed. I waited to the last possible minute to get a new coif; I am hoping to avoid touching up my roots while on the cruise, lest the truth come out.

On the other hand, the truth will set me free. I confess. These chestnut brown locks with striking beechnut blonde highlights are as unnatural as a fake and bake tan, long lasting lipstick and control top pantyhose – all of which I plan to take with me.

I'm still adjusting to this aging thing. I'm not ready to give up hair dye. My hair is not salt and pepper; it is 100 percent gray – not that I've ever seen myself with a head full of gray and I will happily wait until well after the cruise to deal with that trauma.

Today is my daughter's 33rd birthday, which was traumatic enough. To give up hair dye, too? That might push me over the edge.

11 Days to Embarkation - UNESCO World Heritage Sites

2010-09-08T20:14:00.000-07:00

As I research shore excursions, one phrase keeps popping up – UNESCO World Heritage Site. Obviously, it is something important, but what exactly is it? My inquiring mind wants to know.

UNESCO stands for The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization. A heritage site is a place anywhere in the world deemed of cultural or physical significance by UNESCO. It could be a forest, a building, a town, a body of water, a monument or a natural geological formation. “The program catalogues, names and conserves sites of outstanding cultural or natural importance to the common heritage of humanity.” That's s direct quote from Wikipedia, so it must be true.

There are 911 properties on the list of World Heritage Sites and more are added yearly.

Could I get to all of them before I die? Probably not, but I could die trying. On this cruise, I can tick a few off the list.

I could zip across a UNESCO protected biosphere near Cabo San Lucas

During our stop in Acapulco, I could visit Xochicalco, a UNESCO World Heritage site, founed circa AD 650 by the Olmeca-Xicallanca, a group of Mayan traders from Campeche.

Antigua Guatemala, our fourth stop, is a UNESCO World Heritage site. It was largely destroyed by an earthquake in 1773 but its monuments are still preserved as ruins.

The historic area and inner harbour of Willemstad on the Caribbean island of Curacao, where we stop on October 5th, is a World Heritage site, too.

Four down, 907 to go. I better hurry if I plan to visit them all.

BTW, there are 15 World Heritage sites in Canada

12 Days Before Embarkation - Reader recommendations?

2010-09-07T09:51:00.000-07:00

The long weekend didn't feel like a long weekend. Between moving desks, re-networking computers, steam cleaning the floors, picking up doggie doo doo, changing out kitty litter and raking the goat pen, the three days of Labour Day weekend quickly sailed by.

I really need a vacation!

I may have mentioned it a time or two - that I was going to take one. In 12 days.

But I can't get on that ship without the electronic documents that Holland America emailed me a few weeks back. They are called E-Docs and they need to be filled in on-line (to satisfy US Homeland Security). So I filled in the requested information, printed the paperwork and put it in a waterproof Ziploc bag for safe keeping, because trust me, I am getting on that ship, come hell or high water, preferably the latter.

For about the fiftieth time this month I reviewed the shore excursion page on Holland America's website, making a note of my favourites, but failing to book any. I can't help but think: what if something better presents itself after I've committed? That explains why I didn't get married until I was almost 40.

When I travel, I want to do something completely different from what I can do at home. That's why we went swimming with the sharks when we went to Hawaii a couple of years ago.

I want to see something that I can't see at home. Maybe I will visit some Mayan ruins or do a jungle canopy tour – definitely not possible North of 50°.

I'd love to hear from readers about their shore excursion experiences. What was your best shore excursion while on a cruise? Any recommendations?

13 Days Before Embarkation - A Fair Deal

2010-09-06T09:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday - 14 days before embarkation - I spent cleaning out my office. No, I did not fire myself. I'm just moving to a new corner of the same office and I need to do this before I go on vacation.

Paperless offices will never happen. That was obvious as I went through years of accumulated paperwork – Letters to the Editor, story submissions, interview notes, mock-ups dating back to 2003. I recycled a dozen out-dated phone books, not including the fattest ones that raise my computer monitor up to an ergo-dynamic height.

By the time I decided to throw in the paper towel, it was 7 p.m., giving me just enough time to catch the last couple of hours at the Interior Provincial Exhibition. That may have been a tactical error. By the time I left the fair, I had purchased a new steam mop, a set of microfibre sheets, two bead necklaces, a chai tea latte and made arrangements to have one of my goats bred as soon as I get back from holidays.

Today – 13 days before embarkation – I woke early – and started playing with my new mop. Who knew a cleaning tool could be so much fun? I steamed the hardwood floors, the tub surrounds, a set of blinds – I LOVE this thing.

Now that the office is cleaned out, the house is spic and span, I can concentrate on packing.

16 Days Before Embarkation – Have ya Been to Sea, Billy? Nay, Captain Highliner. I've Been to the Fair.

2010-09-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged the past few days because, you could say, I've been on a shore excursion in Armstrong. If a cruise ship landed in Armstrong the first week of September, there'd only be one shore excursion – to the Interior Provincial Exhibition – and that is where I have been.

The fair grounds are like a gigantic cruise ship - just with a lot more dust and a lot less water. The only thing that remotely resembles the ocean is the “fishing” booth in the midway, where you can win a large stuffed frog if you manage to hook a plastic fish.

But, the entire midway is a bit like a ship's casino. Rotating lights, loud dinging noises – it's just like sitting near the slots. I feel confident that the odds of winning are much higher on the high seas.

Just like on a cruise ship, there's a huge selection of food, though the presentation and the table settings aren't nearly as elegant. I love the formality of dining on a cruise. I like getting “dressed up” for supper. At the fair, I wore the same jeans I wore while doing yard work this morning.

At the IPE, the Dodge Truck Stage, is always serving up entertainment – not as elaborate as the evening shows on a cruise ship, but entertaining, none the less.

The fair has an international flair, too, with exhibits and commercial displays from around the world. Specialty tea from South Africa. Handknit sweaters from Peru. Hawaiian shaved ice. Exotic birds and other animals. Sometimes, you don't have to leave home to see the world.

The fair lasts for five days because there really is that much to see and do.

And there will be plenty to see and do while I'm on vacation for 21 days, too. Have ya Been to Sea, Billy? Nay, Captain Highliner, but I'll soon be there.

19 Days Before Embarkation – How Hurricane Earl got his Name

2010-08-31T14:20:00.000-07:00

Hurricane Earl has been making a name for himself in the news over the past few days.

Let me just say this, for the last time: NO, I did not know it was hurricane season in the Caribbean when I booked our Panama cruise. Having that information, however, wouldn't have deterred me. I like the idea of sailing out of Vancouver and only having to deal with one flight. Though I am looking forward to an extended summer season by traveling south in September, weather wasn't a deciding factor for this vacation.

Let's not forget that this cruise came about because of Dean's very public and inappropriate announcement of my 50th birthday last December. In order to live out the rest of his days in relative peace, the deal is, he must take me on a Panama Cruise before my next birthday – and that's coming up fast!

I have it on good authority that in the unlikely event that a hurricane is headed to the same location as me, our cruise ship can outrun it, change its course or find shelter in a storm. And I will pack my trusty rain poncho, which has kept me dry through daily rain showers in Hawaii, a torrential downpour in Ixtapa and various degrees of drizzle around the campfire here at home.

If you are planning your own cruise vacation during hurricane season and if you don't believe me, check out this excellent article about cruising and storms, by Cruise Critic. Then cruise over to this piece from CBC that explains how hurricanes and tropical storms develop and how their names are chosen.

20 Days to Embarkation – If the Shoe Fits

2010-08-30T17:43:00.000-07:00

My last post generated several comments about my underwear. It's a family show, folks. I've learned my lesson; I won't mention my skivvies again.

How about those shoes, though?

I admit it. My new runners look a bit like bowling shoes, but they are so comfortable. And comfort will be paramount when I am trekking off to an archaeological site near Acapulco.

Dean and I went shopping for walking shoes on the weekend. I purchased the very first pair I tried on. Dean, on the other hand, tried on 12 pairs, eventually settled on some white trainers, and by the time we got home, had decided they weren't quite right, after all.

I find shopping very stressful, so in the interest of my sanity, I like to get the whole ordeal over with as quickly as possible. Don't get me wrong I've been doing a lot of shopping, but I haven't enjoyed it. When I find what I want in less than an hour, I consider my shopping trip a success. If it stretches into an entire afternoon, I usually quit, until I regain the patience try again another day.

I'm easily bored when shopping, and the weekend shoe excursion was no exception. Dean was still trying on shoes after 15 minutes and I started getting antsy.

“It's a pair of shoes,” I sighed, “You're not negotiating world peace.”

“They look fine.”

“They'll stretch.”

“Don't worry about it. You'll need a little extra room.”

His comfort was no longer of any interest to me. I just wanted him to pick a shoe. Any shoe. I really didn't care if he had to go barefoot.
Imagine my relief when he took a pair up to the cashier. Unfortunately, his hasty decision resulted in an ill-fitting shoe that he now has to return.

Really, I don't know why he didn't just take his time.

21 Days Before Embarkation – Under Things

2010-08-29T17:14:00.000-07:00

The large suitcase I wanted to borrow from my parents was in the crawlspace of their Kelowna home, so we drove an hour to “the city” to collect it.

One look into that claustrophobic 2 ½ foot high hole was all it took for me to decide that the medium-sized suitcase I had at home was perfectly adequate for a 21 day cruise.

Dean recognized my error in judgment and gently reminded me that I was planning to pack a cocktail dress - with shoes to match - for every evening of the cruise – and he was hoping to bring a few clothes, too. “Dear maiden,” he crooned, “It will be my pleasure to retrieve the suitcase for you, because you are so wonderful.”

Perhaps those were not his exact words.

Whatever he said, my good husband contorted his 175 pound frame into the cramped space, followed by my 75 year old step mother, who is tiny, but tougher than nails and apparently not bothered by wee spaces.

I remained above, to ensure the hatch door did not fall and trap them below. Dean laid flat on his back,muttering a few indiscernible words as he shuffled across the concrete slab, guided by my step mother who shone a flashlight in the general direction of the suitcase.

He was able to reach the ginormous dark green suitcase with an outstretched arm, drag it across the floor and stuff it up the hatch. How my parents managed to get that thing down there in the first place, I'll never know.

The suitcase is huge, but necessary. Especially after all the shopping I've been doing.

When I was a kid, I got new underwear every September to coincide with the new school year. These days, I buy new underwear every time I go on vacation. Such an important purchase always necessitates a trip to “the city,” so as soon as Dean had released the suitcase from its prison under the floorboards, I went shopping in K-town. Cotton or poly, high cut or hipster; it's always a dilemma.

23 Days Before Embarkation – The Nature of Leathery Things

2010-08-27T15:08:00.000-07:00

Today, we had the pleasure of watching a small black bear cavorting in the middle of our road. He or she – I wasn't about to check - was not bothered by our presence in the least.

It's not unusual to see or hear wildlife out here. Deer in the alfalfa fields are a regular morning treat. Nearby coyotes howl every night, and stroll casually across the flat farm land at dawn and dusk. Squirrels, pheasants and quail are daily visitors.

Seeing nature in action never gets old for me. I don't think there are any bears in Central America, so I can leave the bear spray at home for the house sitters.

On the cruise, I will be thrilled to take in whatever sights nature chooses to offer. More likely, whales and dolphins will make an appearance. Pelicans, storks and iguana are a certainty. But, if I could put in an order, I would request crocodiles.

My BFF said I have spent too much time in the sun and that is why I have an unnatural affection for leathery creatures. I am not speaking to my BFF today.

I think Ogopogo looks a bit reptilian – not that I've ever seen him /her. I've got better odds of seeing a crocodile in the wild than I do of catching a glimpse of our local lake monster. The American Crocodile is said to be plentiful in Costa Rica, where my cruise ship just happens to stop on Day 13, October 1.

And there just happens to be a shore excursion available that will take me to the Tarcoles River, where crocodiles are abundant and Mother Nature just might grant my wish.

If I am speaking to my BFF by then, I will send her a postcard of me and a crocodile. Hopefully, she'll be able to tell us apart.

24 Days Before Embarkation - Batten Down the Hatches

2010-08-26T15:38:00.000-07:00

So much for my preoccupation with the cruise – at least for the moment.

More pressing matters have suddenly swept in. Literally. I've been battening down the hatches here at home. A sudden wind blew in, creating minor havoc. Patio chairs flew across the deck. The gusts churned up dust tornadoes on our unpaved driveway. The pool cover blew off, the goats have run for shelter and my internet is likely to go down. The rain hasn't started but I know it's coming. I'll be happy if no trees come down on the house.

After retrieving the pool cover from the goat pen, Dean bursts into the house with a need to share his innermost feelings. “Imagine,” he says, “if we get this wind on the ship.”

Well, thanks, buddy. That's just the kind of seed I don't need planted in my obsessive compulsive brain.

“Are you trying to scare me?” I ask.

Dean gives me that who-are-you-trying-to-kid look. “When have you ever been afraid of water?” he demands. “We've kayaked across Arrow Lake in a raging lightning storm. We've been whitewater rafting in Class 4 rapids. The mast of our 25 foot Catalina sailboat touched the lake in a strong wind. The winds were so strong when we kayaked in La Jolla that we needed someone to kick us out past the crashing surf. Remember when we were coming back from a cruise to the South Pacific and the water was flying out of the pool as the ship crashed through 30 foot swells?”

Of course, I remember.

I confess, I got a bit of a thrill from it all, too.

Boy, Dean sure takes all the fun out of being melodramatic.

26 Days Before Embarkation - To Spray or Not to Spray: That is the Question.

2010-08-24T21:24:00.000-07:00

It was a scorcher today here in the North Okanagan - 34 degrees in the shade. Not that I was in the shade. Not this girl. I was working on my base tan, so I can avoid the fake and bake, which happens to be getting a lot of bad press these days.

I'm not convinced that the tanning bed is any more dangerous than smothering myself in chemical sunscreen, which I refuse to use. I welcome exposure to the sun and when it gets really hot, I drink some water, put on a hat or find some shade.

My aversion to chemical skin coverings is causing a dilemma.

The sun is the least of my worries. Now, it's all about the mosquitos.

Since West Nile virus has arrived in the Okanagan, experts are suggesting I douse myself in DEET laced mosquito repellant every time I step outside. And I spend a lot of time outside.

I hate bug spray as much as I hate sunscreen. But faced with the highly unlikely possibility of contracting an insect borne illness at home or on my cruise, I have to weigh the pros and cons. Dengue fever, malaria, West Nile virus - or – poison myself with a shot of N-Diethyl-meta-toulamide aka DEET.

What to do? What to do? The decision became clearer today when I visited the drug store to purchase hair dye, also toxic to the skin, but which has the indisputable bonus of taking 5 years off my appearance. There, in a lovely orange package, complete with a carabiner to hook the container on your belt was insect repellant that matches my favourite handbag just perfectly.

30 Days Before EmBARKation - Dogs, Cats & Goats

2010-08-20T10:32:00.000-07:00

The downside of owning pets (and there's not too many downsides) is that they don't have opposable thumbs and can't help themselves to groceries or let themselves out to pee. This glaring evolutionary anomaly becomes painfully obvious every time we want to travel.

Recently, I went on a search for house/pet sitters who would be willing to put their thumbs to good use – y'know, feed and water 3 dogs, 2 feral kittens and 3 goats, one of whom is pregnant and possibly ready to pop while we are away.

A friend told me about a website www.housecarers.com, where you can place an ad for a house-sitter and your identity remains anonymous. We had about a dozen qualified applicants, many of whom house-sit world wide as a full time vocation. Apparently, BC is a highly sought after area amongst house-sitters, especially in the “non-winter” months.

After considerable research and telephone interviews, we selected a couple from the United States, who are house-sitting in Alberta now.

So everything is arranged – sort of. When I hired this lovely couple, I had 2 dogs, no cats and three barren goats. One of the pet-sitters told me he was allergic to cats, and since I had no cats, no problem

But in the meantime, the feral kittens needed a home - I have an empty shop and a small acreage – I've got a reasonable population of mice – it made sense. Except for that bit about the house-sitter with a cat allergy.

And the bit about the pregnant goat. In my defense, I only realized the goat was pregnant a few days ago and I am guessing as to her due date.

Oh, and the bit about the extra dog.

Two dogs, three dogs, what's the difference really?

I think I better fire off an email and apprise these people of the new situation.

36 Days Before Embarkation - The Cruise Before the Cruise

2010-08-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

What, with all the stress of preparing for a Panama Cruise, I am desperate to quit obsessing over every detail, so we were thrilled when friends invited us to join them last weekend on their pontoon boat on Kalamalka Lake. What a great way to spend a relaxing afternoon and a welcome distraction from all things Panama!

Contrary to popular belief, Kalamalka is not an Okanagan word for Lake of Many Colours. Rather, the lake was named after an Indian chief who lived on the lake's northern shore. That's what it says on Wikipedia. Kalamalka Lake has been called one of the 10 most beautiful lakes in the world by National Geographic. How lucky we are to have it only a half hour drive from home. And now, on this pontoon boat with good food, great company and perfect suntanning weather, we are thinking, "This is the life."

How refreshing to jump off the back of the boat into the cool, turquoise water and float around the middle of the lake (in a life vest, of course). The water is so clear we could easily see our feet below while we tread water. The ocean in the Caribbean is reportedly just as blue and wonderfully clear, too, and I can't wait to go snorkeling in Aruba, one of the ports of call on this cruise. (Sorry, my mind wandered there.)

As we cruised near Kalamalka Lake Park, we came to a spot where young people were plunging from the cliffs into the water. Yikes, I sighed relief when I was sure none of my children were participating. Boaters observing from the lake clapped and cheered as the divers performed back flips and somersaults. Despite the obvious hazards - almost yearly someone is seriously injured or dies as a result of cliff jumping here - it is hard not to be impressed (if not slightly worried).

These daredevils put me in mind of the famous La Quebrada cliff divers in Acapulco, another port of call on our upcomng cruise. We were in Acapulco this past February and witnessed these athletes hurl themselves 136 feet from narrow ledges to the crashing Pacific below. Our taxi driver told us that the divers clean up the gardens and pick up litter on the hotel grounds when they are not diving. Hmmmm, is there a lesson in that?

On the way home, we stopped at Starbucks for an Iced Americano. Hanging on the wall was a poster for "Guatemala Antigua Starbucks Coffee." Our cruise ship stops in Guatemala - yes, Antigua - for a day, and we are trying to decide between booking an excursion to a coffee plantation or a zip line tour. Good heavens, how can I stop obsessing when everything points to Panama.

37 Days Before Embarkation - Friday the 13th

2010-08-14T08:36:00.000-07:00

I've gone and done it now. Crap.

I've lost my eyeglasses; not just any eyeglasses and not just anywhere. I lost my transitional, over-priced, designer-framed glasses in the forest and unfortunately, I didn't leave a trail of breadcrumbs in order to retrace mys steps.

In the unlikely event that I can distinguish the brown frame from a twig on the forest floor, I will continue to search for them, but I don't hold out much hope. Sometime before we depart on our cruise, I'll have to order another pair so I can see whales from my stateroom's ocean view window.

Does this mean I will have less money to spend on shore excursions? I suppose I could pawn my mother's Royal Albert tea set to make up the shortfall.

Oh hold back your gasps and admonitions; I'm kidding. Dean's got a bunch of tools sitting in the shop doing nothing and I'll bet they're worth a pretty penny.

What's this? Dean has just handed me a 2 for 1 coupon for eyeglasses from Walmart. It's our wedding anniversary tomorrow. Honestly, I hoped he'd be more thoughtful.

August 11, 2010 - 39 days before Embarkation - Cake Boss

2010-08-11T22:35:00.000-07:00

39 days might seem like an unnecessary amount of time to prepare for a vacation. The cruise and flights are booked, so all we have to do is throw some clothes in a suitcase and make our way to the cruise port in Vancouver, a short five hour drive.

If only it were that simple. It may take two weeks to figure out what shoes will go with what outfit. Finding the perfect handbag will undoubtedly require several trips to the mall. Hair appointments have to be made. Diets have to be researched and followed. Interviewing house and pet sitters is time consuming.

Dean and I are self-employed and that means we have to cram two months work into the next few weeks.

I've been furiously making lists because I don't want to forget something important. Dean thinks my list-making is a little premature. He foolishly criticized my planning process just as we were going to bed last night, but I did not smother him while he slept, despite the temptation.

Today is Dean's 48th birthday.

I'd like to say that I bought his birthday cake because I didn't have time to make one – what with the list-making, planning and shopping for our upcoming Panama cruise – but that would be a lie. I haven't baked a cake in 20 years, and I felt no need to start now.

This $15.99 chocolate mousse cake will not touch my lips. For the past 6 weeks, I have been suffering through a low carb, no starch diet in an attempt to lose 15 pounds before Embarkation day. With 5 pounds to go, I can't risk it. I need this entire 15 pound weight loss so I've room to gain some back while dining on the ocean blue.